breakingdownandbreakingopen

  FAST FORWARD TO AFTER THE PARK. INSERT COMING HOME HERE................................................ I hadn't slept well at all. Along with the anticipation of seeing the man I now knew mattered, the man I still loved and wanted a future with, was the dread of not knowing how he would feel about me once he saw me. Threaded through these emotions were, desire: could I hold myself back, guilt:, I had no plan of doing anything to hurt my or Dean ʼʼ s family, but we were sneaking off to see one another, wasn't this hurtful enough, worry: that we would get caught and launched into something neither of us was desiring; the end of our relationships, nor prepared to manage should it happen, justice; oh I wanted him to regret not having kept me in his life, residual anger: for the pain I suffered not knowing if I had ever mattered to him, I needed to see it in his face, fear: for what I might disclose about my past, the secret I held for so many years, did I need to tell h...

  FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE ORDER RIGHT ON MULTIPLE CONVERSATIONS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME Missing more emails K 2:01am Hey D  2:01am yeahhhh! K 2:02am If you loose me it's temporary, stay on, or check back in, I'll be up for a while D  2:02am ditto, of course tonight my internet is shaky K 2:02am ditto Dan 2:03am i'm going to go first ok? K 2:03am and my kids are still up in a basement with SO sleeping expecting us to get to bed. k D is o ffl ine. 2:04am D is online. 2:04am D  2:05am I want to be wise, and accepting of all this but... I too am denying some feelings. You read that. Not sure what I said that made you think you are getting dumped. AS I said before, the more I try to answer, the more questions I have , I haven't analyzed as much as I thought K 2:06am I wouldn'...